What is driving the abuse?

What is driving us to abusing our FDWs?

Singapore is a very competitive country. The children here are raised in schools that are pushed for academic excellence. Failure in Singapore is simply not an option. Children are taught to take control of their lifestyle from their primary education with systems like the streaming program and such. Our government controls everything, even if we bought it, just like our houses. Being in control, for Singaporeans, is like stepping outside with shoes. It is a must have, a need and sometimes even a luxury. This mindset has degraded us Singaporeans to the point that we can even abuse foreign domestic workers (FDWs) who come to work here. Some of them clean our bedrooms, some of them made our bedrooms.

Some of the main reasons why most Singaporeans are such control freaks is the fact that what we own is not really what we own. At least 90% of Singaporeans do not live in a freehold estate. Most of us live in pigeonholes that the government has every right to claim back from us. Thus, whatever we can truly own, we make sure that we will have full control over it. Freedom of speech does not exactly exist in Singapore. Take for example the racist blogger that was fined and imprisoned for flaming the Malays. Most of us would understand that there was a good reason to, however, most of us at one point of time or another would have agreed to the idea of freedom of speech. Even if we were to go on a protest, we would have to apply a permit to do so. There is no freedom of speech here in Singapore. The government owns it. Therefore, us being controlled by the government pushes us to be like the government when it comes to treating people. Are we able to break this vicious cycle? Let’s see what Terence has to say about this:

“ I think that we can never break the cycle. Even if we do, we’ll still want to be in control. This is man’s greatest ability and it will be our greatest downfall. Imagine breaking our government away from this ownership. We would be in a great mess! A dozen more political systems would emerge. Is that not taking control of things? And if we do not take control, things would be even worse. Control is needed, but like medication, we can only take a correct dosage. Too much and we will fall. Too little and we too will fall.”

Another reason that could explain Singaporeans abusing FDWs is that Singaporeans are constantly plagued with the idea that perfection is achievable. However, perfection can never be achieved. You could paint a picture a thousand times, but your picture will never look the same each time round. Sometimes, FDWs do not do a good job. But it is no reason for one to start abusing them either physically or emotionally. School systems, religious teachings and moral values are a path in which perfection is slipped into the minds of Singaporeans. You cannot fail in school, because you will not have a future if you do. Singaporean children learn that. You must not sin, because if you do, you will go to hell. People in churches, mosques and temples learn that. You cannot lie, because if you do, you will be punished. What about late bloomers? People cannot not sin, we’re all human with human weaknesses too. What about white lies? Perfection is a deadly idea if put in the wrong context. And in the case of FDWs, we expect them to be perfect because they’re living under our roofs, eating our food and we’re paying them. We even expect them to be perfect because they’ve undergone training before being employed. FDWs are humans too.

One of main reasons that most employers would argue to would be that FDWs did not do what they were told. Yet again, FDWs are people too. They are not robots. They have the freedom to think and do what they think is right. I would doubt that if you’re living and working for someone for 3 years, you would try to harm him or her. Well, people are different and they will always be. We’ll hear Terence’s views:

“ I think that while people from both sides blame one another, there is no doubt that there is a sense of selfishness in all of this. Employers are selfish because they do not want to lose out. They expect the job to be done very well for the money they are giving. FDWs at the other hand have to work to keep their families back home from starving. Selfish? Yes. FDWs will not really care about the plight of the employer and his family if something were to happen. What would matter most is the money he gets to support his own family. What we need here is a mutual sense of selflessness. Even the slightest bit will come a long way.”




With that said, I think that employers should spare a thought for the FDWs. Treat them like family members and the weight of the world may become a little less heavier.




I couldn't get an convert my audio into an mp3 file too. It made my computer hang every time i did so.